On a recent cemetery tour, we stopped by sites where people were buried in unmarked graves.

For one of these we know why there is no marker - the deceased did not want one - but for the other, we don't know if the grave at one time had a gravestone, or whether it was never marked. For some people, an unmarked grave is difficult to understand: Why isn't it marked? Who didn't want it marked? Didn't anybody care? Is the "government" to blame? There are many answers and here are some of them.

A point to make clear is that a marker on a grave is not always mandatory. In some cases, a grave marker is included in the overall funeral arrangements. In others, family members tend to this on their own at a later date and sometimes it just never happens. We know of some private cemeteries where marking the grave is part of the interment procedure, but as a general rule, public sites do not require a grave marker.

One reason for no marker is that the person buried at that spot did not want one. An example of such a request is the grave of Arthur Wellsley Gray in Fraser Cemetery. Another reason is that a grave marker was intended, but actual arrangements weren't made. We've heard stories of one being planned "when we can afford it," and in time it was forgotten. In one example, a family regularly visited and seasonally commemorated a grave, but did not place a marker until almost 90 years had passed.

Sometimes a grave was once marked, but over the years the stone was damaged, broken or vandalized, possibly becoming dangerous. Then, depending on the cemetery policy, the parts may be removed or laid on the ground, where in time they are covered with dirt or grass. We know of instances where the family connected to the grave came forward to assist with restoring the stone, but this is not common. In Victoria, for instance, the Old Cemeteries' Society will investigate the restoration of an old marker and might raise the needed funds and carry it out.

In some cases, a community demands a grave marker and the citizens collect for this purpose. An excellent example in Fraser is the grave of Dr. AWS Black, whose marker was paid for by "a grieving community" after his death in the line of duty, in the early 1870s. If those funds had not been gathered there might not have been a marker at all.

For the unknown or indigent who are buried at public expense, few are marked in any way. Some other stones are removed by families to be re-cut, then never replaced. There are many other grave-marking stories and much more to explore in this intriguing part of a cemetery's story.